Time Is A Social Construct
its that time of the year again.. a new year! for some reason, it makes me sad. I don’t do well with change and reflecting on a year ending and a new year to come gives me a little bit of anxiety.. so I had to keep reminding myself that time is just a social construct. if I think about it, every single day is a new opportunity for reflection and growth. this year has been full of change and learning and honestly, pain. there’s been one thing that keeps me going and that’s Gurbani. when I reflected on this past year, I noticed that when I was at my darkest points and wasn’t listening to or reciting Gurbani, things stayed dark. this year, I want to work on that. I want to work on reflecting on Guru’s Shabad and keeping it close in dark and light times. sooo.. that’s why this blog was born. it’ll be a sort of journal for me to do veechar on Shabads that hit me or I just need to process through writing. starting with the Hukamnama from NYE divaan at Gurudwara-
immediately Guru Sahib tells us the key to resolving our affairs (karaj)- do veechar/contemplation of Bani. so many times I think that I won’t make it out of a dark day and that pain lasts forever, but then i’ll remember certain lines of Gurbani that ground me and remind me of the Ultimate Truth. it doesn’t make me feel like my pain in invalid, but rather I feel like I can actually hug Guru Sahib’s feet and they’re reminding me that “Gur Mere Sang Sada Hai Nalai” Guru Sahib is ALWAYS with me. literally within me.
Guru Sahib goes on to talk about the peace that comes from singing Kirtan. I’m eternally grateful to know that feeling of peace and to have experienced those moments of listening to Kirtan where I can just cry and cry and the beauty of the poetry Guru Sahib created to teach us about the Truth. experiencing those teachings is a whole another level, but even being taught is indescribable. I hope that if and when those dark moments come to me, that i’ll come back to this hukam and listen to kirtan.
how GREAT is Guru Sahib that they embrace any being who has shed ego and come to them with an open heart. how beautiful it feels to know and understand the power of simran and kirtan. this hukamnama gave me another goal for this year- practice meditation. i’ve never fully given my 100% when trying this before. I want to work hard through the distractions and difficulty of sitting still to just think about Naam. it’s not easy, I know that. but, I don’t want to complain about disconnecting from Sikhi and Bani if I don’t give the tools that Guru Sahib provides us a chance. I feel so lucky to be my Guru’s Sikh. I’m looking forward to the growth and connection I build with Guru Sahib this year and do ardaas that I’ll be able to feel the Light within.
I hope to use this blog as way to deepen and grow my connection with Guru Sahib. this one was pretty surface level, but I will be digging deeper into the Shabad’s meanings as well as my connection with them.
